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Habit 5- Be an Active Listener

When you're telling a friend or family member about something you feel is important, wouldn't it hurt your feelings if they weren't listening or acted as if they didn't care?

So, why would you do this to someone else?

Here are some tips on being an active listener:

Do's

  • Tone- Pay attention to the tone of the person that's taking. Do they sound like they're about to cry? Do they sound happy?

  • Body Language

  • -Pay attention to their body language. Are they slouching? Do they look nervous? Scared? Sad?

  • -Pay attention to YOUR body language. Do you look closed off and disinterested?

  • Spoken words- What are they saying? Why did they say that?

  • Stand in their shoes- Be objective. Try to look at it from their point of view.

  • Ask questions- After you've paid attention to body language, tone and words, ask questions to further understand.

  • ex. What did you mean by "blah blah?"

  • Repeat- Repeat certain words back in sentence or questions, either to show you're listening or to better understand.

  • Be Genuine- Genuinely want to understand the person or you'll come off as rude, condescending, or even annoyed.

Don't

  • Space out- Pay attention. Don't ignore them, they came to you because they trust you.

  • Pretend- Don't pretend to listen. Be engaged.

  • Selective- Don't just hear what you want to hear.

  • Interupt- Let them finish talking before you ask questions and if it can't wait ask "May I interrupt?" and then ask your question only if they say"yes."

 
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